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A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Santa, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals` cages. Now Santa, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn`t very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Santa to satisfy the female gorilla.
So he was approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla- for one thousand bucks?
Santa replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.
The following day, Santa announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:
"First," Santa said, "I don`t want to have to kiss her."
"Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?
"Well," said Santa, "You`ve gotta give me another week to come up with one thousand rupees.
- Sexual urges ! Captain Santa was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men`s barracks.
Santa asked the Sergeant leading the tour, 'What`s the camel for?'
The Sergeant replied, 'Well sir, it`s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual... - Men Need Most Banta, a traveling salesman, checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day`s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
'I`m afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him, 'but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, Banta located the appropriate machine, inserted... - Tried once Well-dressed Banta entered an upscale restaurant in the 17 sector, Chandigarh, and took a seat at the bar.
The bartender came over and asked 'What can I get you to drink, sir?'
Banta responded, 'Nothing, thank you. I tried alcohol once, didn`t like it, and never tried it again.'
The bartender was a bit perplexed, but... - Rectum Deodorant ! Santa walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to Santa that they don`t sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, Santa assures the pharmacist that he has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like... -
Scoreboard ? Banta and Mrs Banta`s friend Santa is visiting from out-of-state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling. Since Bantas` have no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in the morning.
'Nonsense,' says Banta`s wife, Preeto. 'Our bed is plenty big enough for...