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Two Irishmen, Murphy and Brian grew up in the same village together. They were friends all their lives, married a pair of sisters, and lived just down the street from one another. But now, Murphy had cancer, and was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his friends.
He calls, "Brian, come here Brian. I have a request for you."
Brian walks to his friends bedside and kneels down.
"Brian, we`ve been friends all our lives, and now I`m dying here. I have one last request for you to do."
Brian bursts into tears, "Anything Murphy, anything you wish. It`s done."
"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I`ll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."
Brian was overcome by the beauty and true Irish spirit of his friend`s request.
"It is a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
- The Plane ride! There were three guys on a plane. The first guy just ate an apple and decided to throw it out of the plane. So he threw it out just before they landed. When they landed they saw a little girl crying.
They asked her what was wrong.
She said, 'I was just sitting here playing when... -
Luxury Cruise One day Banta walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: 'You say in this ad that you have a wonderful luxury cruise for only Rs 5000. I want to go on this wonderful luxury cruise.'
The guy behind the counter says 'Sure. Do you have... - Confession ? Tommy enters the confessional box and says. . .
'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I can`t be tellin` you, Father. I don`t want to... - Deer hunt ! Santa and Banta go for hunting. Santa has never gone hunting while Banta has huntedall his life. When they get to the woods, Banta tells Santa to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Banta checks out a deer stand.
After Banta gets about a quarter of a mile away, he hears a... - False alarms An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.
Suddenly...