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A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, Santa goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we`ll do. After I`ve operated on Santa, I`ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks the doctor.
"It`s worth a try," he says.
So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on Santa. After the operation he goes in to Santa and says, "Santa, you`re not going to believe this."
"What?" says Santa. "What happened?"
"You gave birth to a child."
"But that`s impossible!"
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It`s a miracle! Here`s your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and Santa realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I`m not your father."
The son says, "What do you mean, you`re not my father?"
Santa replies, "I`m your mother. Banta is your father."
- A proposal for Santa A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Santa... - Who said that ? It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, 'Let`s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me death?'
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of... - Sexual urges ! Captain Santa was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men`s barracks.
Santa asked the Sergeant leading the tour, 'What`s the camel for?'
The Sergeant replied, 'Well sir, it`s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual... - Men Need Most Banta, a traveling salesman, checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day`s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
'I`m afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him, 'but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, Banta located the appropriate machine, inserted... - Tried once Well-dressed Banta entered an upscale restaurant in the 17 sector, Chandigarh, and took a seat at the bar.
The bartender came over and asked 'What can I get you to drink, sir?'
Banta responded, 'Nothing, thank you. I tried alcohol once, didn`t like it, and never tried it again.'
The bartender was a bit perplexed, but...