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Two farmers, Santa and Banta, lived as neighbors, but didn`t like each other much. There was a period of -10 degree centigrade cold and Santa and Banta had nothing to do because of it. So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the window ledge the longest with a bare ass.
After two hours Banta`s wife, Preeto, came home and asked Banta, "What are you doing?"
Banta explained and she said, "Come on... you will only freeze your ass off."
Banta refused as he wanted to win the bet.
Then Preeto got an idea. "Let`s change places when Santa is looking the other way"
Banta`s wife put on the same kind of pullover and cap and traded places with Banta.
Half an hour later Santa`s wife, Jeeto, came home and asked him, "What are you doing?"
Santa told her and said, "I am determined to win the bottle!"
"You are crazy. Come on in."
"Certainly not, I am already on the winning side. Banta lost his balls half an hour ago!"
- Milking! A farmer had advertised his farm and was showing it to Banta, a prospective buyer. As they walked along a fence line, Banta saw bee hives and stopped. He said, 'Those hives are pretty close to the road.'
The farmer explained that the bees just made honey and have never stung anyone.
Banta felt unsure about the sale until he proposed that... - A proposal for Santa A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Santa... - Who said that ? It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, 'Let`s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me death?'
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of... - Sexual urges ! Captain Santa was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men`s barracks.
Santa asked the Sergeant leading the tour, 'What`s the camel for?'
The Sergeant replied, 'Well sir, it`s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual... - Men Need Most Banta, a traveling salesman, checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day`s meeting, he called down to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the premises.
'I`m afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him, 'but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, Banta located the appropriate machine, inserted...