-
There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.
The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I`m a zebra. What are you?"
"I`m a cow," said the cow.
"Right, right, what do you do?"
"I make milk for the farmer."
"Cool."
The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I`m a zebra. What are you?"
"I`m a chicken," said the chicken.
"Oh, right, what do you do?"
"I make eggs for the farmer."
"Right, great, see you round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes.
She ran over to it and said, "Hi, I`m a zebra. What are you?"
"I am a horse," said the horse.
"Wow," said the zebra. "What do you do?"
"Take off your pajamas, darling, and I`ll show you."
- Dying wish Two Irishmen, Murphy and Brian grew up in the same village together. They were friends all their lives, married a pair of sisters, and lived just down the street from one another. But now, Murphy had cancer, and was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his friends.
He calls, 'Brian, come here Brian. I have a request for you.'
Brian walks to his friends bedside and... - Ape removal A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not knowing quite what to do, he looks in the yellow pages under 'Gorilla Removal Service' and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal.
So he calls up Harry and about an hour later Harry shows up with all the tools of his trade, a pick-up truck, a pair of handcuffs, a... - The Plane ride! There were three guys on a plane. The first guy just ate an apple and decided to throw it out of the plane. So he threw it out just before they landed. When they landed they saw a little girl crying.
They asked her what was wrong.
She said, 'I was just sitting here playing when... -
Luxury Cruise One day Banta walks into a dingy little storefront travel agency, holds up a page out of a newspaper, and says: 'You say in this ad that you have a wonderful luxury cruise for only Rs 5000. I want to go on this wonderful luxury cruise.'
The guy behind the counter says 'Sure. Do you have... - Confession ? Tommy enters the confessional box and says. . .
'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I can`t be tellin` you, Father. I don`t want to...