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Santa and Banta are serving in Indian Army. Once they were handed shovels and told to bury a large, dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying.
Santa, "This here`s a big mule!"
Banta, "This is not a mule, this here`s a donkey."
Santa, "Mule!"
Banta, "Donkey!"
Well, this went on for a while until one of their Seniors, a sergeant came by.
"What are you boys doing?"
"We are digging a grave for this mule."
"Donkey, dammit!"
Sergeant cut in, "Boys, this isn`t either one, it`s an ass."
An hour later, the camp commander came up and said, "What are you men doing, digging a foxhole?" "No sir. We are diggin` an asshole."
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Giving Birth A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, Santa goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, 'I know what we`ll do. After I`ve operated on Santa, I`ll... - Milking! A farmer had advertised his farm and was showing it to Banta, a prospective buyer. As they walked along a fence line, Banta saw bee hives and stopped. He said, 'Those hives are pretty close to the road.'
The farmer explained that the bees just made honey and have never stung anyone.
Banta felt unsure about the sale until he proposed that... - A proposal for Santa A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Santa... - Who said that ? It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, 'Let`s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me Liberty, or give me death?'
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of... - Sexual urges ! Captain Santa was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men`s barracks.
Santa asked the Sergeant leading the tour, 'What`s the camel for?'
The Sergeant replied, 'Well sir, it`s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual...