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    Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
    "Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
    One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks Santa why.
    "Well" Santa says, "I have a friend in Canada and a friend in Sydney. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can`t be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 20 years since we were 18."
    The next year Santa comes in and asks the bartender for two beers. The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of Santa and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!"
    The bartender asks "So which one died?"
    "No one."
    "But you only ordered two drinks!"
    "Yeah, well, I`ve given up drinking."
  • The privates ! Tom and Brad have been promoted from privates to sergeants.
    Not long after, they`re out for a walk and Tom says, 'Hey, Brad, there`s the Officer`s Club. Let`s you and me stop in.'
    'But we`re privates,' protests Brad.'We`re sergeants now,' says Tom, pulling him inside. 'Now, Brad, I`m gonna...
  • Closest shave! Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
    'I have just the thing,' says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. 'Just place this between your...
  • Excited Zebra! There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.
    The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited...
  • The best beer After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey SeƱor, I would like the world`s best beer, a Corona.'
    The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, 'I`d like the best...
  • Dying wish Two Irishmen, Murphy and Brian grew up in the same village together. They were friends all their lives, married a pair of sisters, and lived just down the street from one another. But now, Murphy had cancer, and was lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his friends.
    He calls, 'Brian, come here Brian. I have a request for you.'
    Brian walks to his friends bedside and...
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