-
A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he`s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise.
"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: `Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!`
"Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the `hiss, hiss,` is, but what`s that `pop!` every so often?"
"Oh, it`s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can`t be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it`s great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
-
Constipation!! Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m constipated.'
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, 'Lean over the table.'
Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK... and then... - Happy Birthday! Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
'Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday' Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender... - Money in casket There was a man who worked all of his life and had saved his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.Just before he died, he said to his wife. 'Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I want to...
- The privates ! Tom and Brad have been promoted from privates to sergeants.
Not long after, they`re out for a walk and Tom says, 'Hey, Brad, there`s the Officer`s Club. Let`s you and me stop in.'
'But we`re privates,' protests Brad.'We`re sergeants now,' says Tom, pulling him inside. 'Now, Brad, I`m gonna... - Closest shave! Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
'I have just the thing,' says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. 'Just place this between your...