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Santa mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over.
This really bothers Santa so he asks him, "What's wrong with you?"
The reply is, "I got this in the war."
Santa finds this pretty disturbing so he switches seats.
The next guy he sits by has uncontrollable spastic twitches in his right leg, causing him to kick the seat in front of him, and even kicks Fred a few times.
So Santa asks him, "What is wrong with you?"
Again the answer is, "I got this in the war."
Santa moves. The next guy poor Santa sits by begins erratically flailing his left hand.
Santa says, "Let me guess, you got that in the war?"
His reply was, "No, I got it out of my nose. I can't get it off of my hand."
- Courtesy A doctor, a priest, and a lawyer are adrift on a raft in the south Pacific. They`re just about out of water, food, and hope, when they spot a small island. Only problem is, between the raft and the island is a large hungry school of tiger sharks.
The doctor insists, 'I`ll swim for the island and bring back coconuts and maybe even help. If the sharks attack me, with my medical knowledge I`ll be able to... -
Constipation!! Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m constipated.'
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, 'Lean over the table.'
Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK... and then... - Happy Birthday! Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
'Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday' Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender... - Money in casket There was a man who worked all of his life and had saved his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.Just before he died, he said to his wife. 'Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I want to...
- The privates ! Tom and Brad have been promoted from privates to sergeants.
Not long after, they`re out for a walk and Tom says, 'Hey, Brad, there`s the Officer`s Club. Let`s you and me stop in.'
'But we`re privates,' protests Brad.'We`re sergeants now,' says Tom, pulling him inside. 'Now, Brad, I`m gonna...