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Banta was walking home late one night when he came upon this intoxicated tramp on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the man, "Do you live here?"
"Yesh," the man slowly replied.
"Would you like me to help you upstairs?" Banta asked.
"Yesh," the man slowly sputtered.
When they got up on the second floor Banta asked, "Is this your floor?"
"Yesh," again the man replied.
Banta got to thinking that maybe he didn`t want to face the man`s irate wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it, then went back downstairs.
But lo and behold when he went back outside, there was another tramp lying on the sidewalk.So Banta asked that man, "Do you live here?"
"Yesh."
"Would you like me to help you upstairs?"
"Yesh."
So Banta did and put him in the same door with the first tramp. Then went back downstairs, where, to his surprise, there was another tramp.
So Banta started over to him. But before he got to him, the tramp staggered over to a policeman and cried, "For God`s sake, offisher, protect me from thish man. He`sh been doing nothing all night long but takin` me upstairsh and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"
- Latex factory A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he`s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise.
'The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide. 'The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where... - Courtesy A doctor, a priest, and a lawyer are adrift on a raft in the south Pacific. They`re just about out of water, food, and hope, when they spot a small island. Only problem is, between the raft and the island is a large hungry school of tiger sharks.
The doctor insists, 'I`ll swim for the island and bring back coconuts and maybe even help. If the sharks attack me, with my medical knowledge I`ll be able to... -
Constipation!! Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m constipated.'
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, 'Lean over the table.'
Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK... and then... - Happy Birthday! Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
'Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday' Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender... - Money in casket There was a man who worked all of his life and had saved his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.Just before he died, he said to his wife. 'Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Because I want to...