Santa was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor, Dr. Banta who offered a solution:
"The good news is that I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Santa was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn`t concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
As Santa walked past a men`s clothing store and thought, "That`s what I need-a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I`d like a new suit."
The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let`s see... size 44 long."
Santa laughed, "That`s right, how did you know?"
"It`s my job.", the salesman said.
Santa tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Santa admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Santa thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Santa and said, "Let`s see 34 sleeve and ... 16 and a half neck."
Santa was surprised, "That`s right, how did you know?"
"It`s my job."
Santa tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Santa adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"
Santa was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Santa`s feet and said, "Let`s see... 9 and a half ... wide."
Santa was astonished, "That`s right, how did you know?"
"It`s my job."
Santae was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Santa thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Santa`s waist and said, "Let`s see ...size 36."
Santa laughed, "No, I`ve worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can`t wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." |
