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Once there was a philosopher doing a survey on a group of men, on the topic of happiness. He said "I can prove to you that the amount of happiness has relation to the amount of sex you have!"
To prove this he glanced at the audience. And he saw a man at the right hand corner, smiling, "Sir, How often do you have sex?" he asked.
"Once a month." the man answered.
Looking for another happy face, he spotted a man in the middle, having a bigger smile. And he asked him "Sir, How often do you have sex?"
"Once a week. " the man shouted.
Trying to prove his theory further, he saw another man laughing. "You seem to be a very happy man, So how often do you have sex?"
"Well, ...everyday" the happy man answered. "There, I am right ...the amount of happiness has relation to the amount of sex you have" said the philosopher.
But far off at the end of the room, he saw a man with his hands in the air. Laughing and jumping with so much happiness. So the philosopher said to him, "You sure look like a very happy man?"
"Yes,.Yes .. Yes," answered the very happy man.
"So how often do you get to have sex?" the philosopher asked.
The man answered "Once a year...."
The puzzled and embarrassed philosopher asked the man "WHAT? Then why are you so happy??"
The man while laughing, and jumping said: "IT`S TONIGHT... IT`S TONIGHT!!"
- The Nightie Preeto was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black nighty and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, her mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
- Short skirts A general store hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts...
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. 'I`d like some raisin bread, please,' the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which, of course... - Clearancs sale! Santa and Banta are running a store and decide to have a big blow-out clearance sale. Within 3 hours, everything is sold from the store.
Santa says to Banta, 'Well, what now? We`ve sold everything.'
Banta replies, 'Don`t worry, there`s this really stupid guy who comes in here everyday. We`ll have a few laughs on him.'
Sure enough, about 15 minutes later... - Wrong box ! Mrs Santa, Mrs Banta, and one of their friend Mrs Jugnu were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their husbands.
Mrs Jugnu said, 'I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.'
Mrs Banta, giggled and confessed, 'I call my husband... - Digging ! Santa and Banta are serving in Indian Army. Once they were handed shovels and told to bury a large, dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying.
Santa, 'This is a big mule!'
Banta, 'This is not a mule, this is...