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Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear perfectly again.
The elderly gentleman returned to the doctor`s in a month for a final check on the new equipment. After some tests, the doctor proclaimed, "Your hearing is perfect!"
"Thank you for helping me," replied the elderly man.
"You`re welcome," said the doctor. "Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
"Oh, I haven`t told them yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations I used to miss," replied the elderly gentleman.
"Really?" questioned the doctor. "You must still be marveling at being able to hear again and just not ready to believe it yourself. That must be why you haven`t told them."
"Well, no that`s not it exactly, but I have changed my will three times!"
- War Veterans Santa mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over.
This really bothers Santa so he asks him, 'What's wrong with you?'
The reply is, 'I got this in the war.' - Latex factory A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he`s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise.
'The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide. 'The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where... - Courtesy A doctor, a priest, and a lawyer are adrift on a raft in the south Pacific. They`re just about out of water, food, and hope, when they spot a small island. Only problem is, between the raft and the island is a large hungry school of tiger sharks.
The doctor insists, 'I`ll swim for the island and bring back coconuts and maybe even help. If the sharks attack me, with my medical knowledge I`ll be able to... -
Constipation!! Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m constipated.'
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, 'Lean over the table.'
Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK... and then... - Happy Birthday! Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
'Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday' Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender...