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There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass...well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg..." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.
The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." So of course he also fled.
Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger`s going to shake his peter at you."
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Castrating Headache Santa was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor, Dr. Banta who offered a solution: - The Nightie Preeto was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black nighty and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, her mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
- Short skirts A general store hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts...
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. 'I`d like some raisin bread, please,' the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which, of course... - Clearancs sale! Santa and Banta are running a store and decide to have a big blow-out clearance sale. Within 3 hours, everything is sold from the store.
Santa says to Banta, 'Well, what now? We`ve sold everything.'
Banta replies, 'Don`t worry, there`s this really stupid guy who comes in here everyday. We`ll have a few laughs on him.'
Sure enough, about 15 minutes later... - Wrong box ! Mrs Santa, Mrs Banta, and one of their friend Mrs Jugnu were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their husbands.
Mrs Jugnu said, 'I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.'
Mrs Banta, giggled and confessed, 'I call my husband...