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Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex.
The first old lady said she enjoyed sex now just as much as ever.
The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was.
The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom, he gets turned on and has his way with her.
The second old lady decides to try this approach. So that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head.
Her husband comes into the bedroom, takes one look and says, "For God`s sake, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you`re starting to look like an asshole!"
- Happiness Once there was a philosopher doing a survey on a group of men, on the topic of happiness. He said 'I can prove to you that the amount of happiness has relation to the amount of sex you have!'
To prove this he glanced at the audience. And he saw a man at the right hand corner, smiling, 'Sir, How often do you have... -
Castrating Headache Santa was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor, Dr. Banta who offered a solution: - The Nightie Preeto was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black nighty and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, her mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
- Short skirts A general store hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts...
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. 'I`d like some raisin bread, please,' the man says politely.
The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which, of course... - Clearancs sale! Santa and Banta are running a store and decide to have a big blow-out clearance sale. Within 3 hours, everything is sold from the store.
Santa says to Banta, 'Well, what now? We`ve sold everything.'
Banta replies, 'Don`t worry, there`s this really stupid guy who comes in here everyday. We`ll have a few laughs on him.'
Sure enough, about 15 minutes later...