-
Banta was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left him over 50 lacs. Banta was so happy when the warden said he would put it in trust untll he was released.
The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying the money up. Banta said he had read a lot about computers and wanted a computer.
The warden said "sure" and got him a computer.
A brand new Compaq computer. After a few weeks the warden visitied him in his cell to see how he was doing. To his amazement he saw the computer smashed on the floor.
The warden asked Banta what happened. Banta said it didn`t work right and he got mad. He said it would not even complete the simplest task.
The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do. Banta said he just wanted one thing from the computer. One simple task and it could not do it.
Banta said, "I hit the escape key and nothing happened, I hit the key again and still nothin, I am still here. I think I will sue Compaq."
- The Tramp Banta was walking home late one night when he came upon this intoxicated tramp on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the man, 'Do you live here?'
'Yesh,' the man slowly replied.
'Would you like me to help you upstairs?' Banta asked.
'Yesh,' the man slowly sputtered. - War Veterans Santa mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over.
This really bothers Santa so he asks him, 'What's wrong with you?'
The reply is, 'I got this in the war.' - Latex factory A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he`s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise.
'The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide. 'The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where... - Courtesy A doctor, a priest, and a lawyer are adrift on a raft in the south Pacific. They`re just about out of water, food, and hope, when they spot a small island. Only problem is, between the raft and the island is a large hungry school of tiger sharks.
The doctor insists, 'I`ll swim for the island and bring back coconuts and maybe even help. If the sharks attack me, with my medical knowledge I`ll be able to... -
Constipation!! Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m constipated.'
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, 'Lean over the table.'
Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK... and then...