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    One day a Pope and a lawyer died and went to heaven. God came and said, "Follow me and I will give you your rooms."
    So they both followed. First God gave the Pope his room; it was very small with a small bed and a small desk.
    "Thank you, thank you my lord," said The Pope.
    Then God gave the lawyer his room; it was big room with a big bed and a big deck with a pool and a pretty woman. "Mr. God, why are you giving this room to me and the other one to The Pope?" the lawyer asked.
    "Well, we get popes by the dozens, but you`re our first lawyer."
  • Escape Banta was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle from Ludhiana has died and left him over 50 lacs. Banta was so happy when the warden said he would put it in trust untll he was released.
    The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying the money up. Banta said ...
  • Perfect hearing Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear perfectly again.
    The elderly gentleman returned to the doctor`s in a month for a final check on the new equipment. After some tests, the doctor proclaimed...
  • The Tramp Banta was walking home late one night when he came upon this intoxicated tramp on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the man, 'Do you live here?'
    'Yesh,' the man slowly replied.
    'Would you like me to help you upstairs?' Banta asked.
    'Yesh,' the man slowly sputtered.
  • War Veterans Santa mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
    He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over.
    This really bothers Santa so he asks him, 'What's wrong with you?'
    The reply is, 'I got this in the war.'
  • Latex factory A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he`s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise.
    'The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide. 'The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'
    Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where...
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