Banta went to the restaurant where the Lion`s Club meets every week, sat down and prepared to have a nice lunch and listen to today`s speaker. All of a sudden, the host of the lunch came up to him and said "Banta, you have to make a speech today." Banta says, "Are you nuts? Where is the scheduled speaker?" The host replies, "He backed out at the last minute and now I have no speaker. You have to do it." Banta answers, "You`re crazy. What would I speak about?" The host says, "Anything, anything at all." Banta says, "All right. I`ll talk about sex." After the meeting, everyone complimented Banta on his speech. They thought it was very good. Banta goes home that evening and says to his wife, Preeto, "Guess what? I made a speech at the Lion`s Club meeting and everyone thought it was great." "What was the speech about, dear?" Preeto asks. Banta, looking down at his feet, replies "uh, it was about ... s s s sailing!" The next day, Preeto was downtown shopping and happened to run into the local bank manager. He comes up to her and states "You ought to be very proud of your husband. He made a fantastic speech yesterday!" Preeto replied, "You know, he told me that, but I don`t understand it! He`s only done it twice- the first time he got sick and the second time his hat blew off!" |