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A very religious man, Santa, lived right next door to Banta, an atheist. Santa prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord.
However, Banta`s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas Santa`s job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn`t give him the time of the day.
So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked:
"Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, Banta, who doesn`t even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"
And a great voice was heard from above:
"BECAUSE HE DOESN`T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
- Joggers Banta had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city`s major jogging routes.
No sooner had he settled back to snooze when... - Misinterpretation A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.
'Isn`t there some way to judge the size of a man`s equipment from the outside?' she asked earnestly.
'The only foolproof way, is by... - Best friend A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.
'Lou,' says the shocked friend, 'what are you doing? I`ve known you for over fifteen years, and I`ve never seen you take a drink before. What`s... -
Santa on duty A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
Banta said, 'Halt, who goes there?'
The sergeant, who was driving, motioned to the back seat and... - Hide and seek A very large, old building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.
While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that...