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    Santa is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off.
    He hollers, "Operator, give me back the party!"
    She says, "I`m sorry sir, you`ll have to make the call all over again."
    Santa says, "What do you want from my life? Give me back the party."
    She says, "I`m sorry sir, you`ll have to place the call again."
    Santa says, "Operator, you know what? Take the telephone and shove it in... you-know-where!" And he hangs up.
    Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, strapping guys standing there who say, "We came to take your telephone out."
    He says, "Why?"
    They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago. But if you`d like to call up and apologize, we`ll leave the telephone here."
    He says, "Wait a minute, what`s the rush, what`s the hurry?"
    He goes to the telephone and dials. "Hello? Get me Operator 28. Hello, Operator28? Remember me? Two days ago I insulted you? I told you to take the telephone and shove it in you-know-where?"
    She says, "Yes?"
    He says, "Well, get ready, they`re bringing it to you!"
  • Heart attack The medics rushed Banta to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
    After a couple of days, Banta`s physician comes into his room and says, 'I`m happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the...
  • War wound? Santa goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men. He glances to his left and sees the guy pissing, but there are two streams.
    'What the hell is that?' Santa asks.
    'War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in Kargil. They were able to save my...
  • Contest!! Santa and Banta drove to a Petrol pump in a remote district for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered to anybody who purchased a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, Santa asked the attendant about the contest.The attendant said, 'If you win, you`re entitled to free SEX,'
    Santa asked how can he enter the contest.
    The attendant explained...
  • Eating popcorns! An old guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
    He replies, 'Well, my pet chicken, of course!'
    'I`m sorry,' The girl tells him. 'We can`t allow animals in the theater.'
    The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and...
  • Without brakes A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill. Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild and passionate love. In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. He realized that they were not going to stop or get out of his way, so he...
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