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Banta and his wife, Preeto, lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors` houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So Preeto went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."
The clerk replied, "Sorry, we`re all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he does knows karate."
Preeto didn`t believe the clerk, so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."
The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces. Then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.
So Preeto bought the dog and took it home to Banta who was expecting a big guard dog. Banta was of course disappointed and somewhat skeptical about the Scottie dog`s abilities as a guard dog.
When she told Banta that the dog knew karate, he said, "Karate my ass!"
And to this very day, he is in the hospital.
- Expecting!! A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. 'You see,' he explained, 'my wife`s expecting.'
'Oh...' said the Officer, 'I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck.'
The following week the same soldier was back again with the... - Religious Santa A very religious man, Santa, lived right next door to Banta, an atheist. Santa prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord.
However, Banta`s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas Santa`s... - Expensive doctor! Santa goes to consult a famous specialist about his medical problem.
'How much do I owe you?'
'My fee is Rs 500,' replies the physician.
'Five hundred? That`s impossible.'
'In your case,' the doctor replies, 'I suppose I could adjust my fee to Rs 300.'
'Three hundred for one visit... - Joggers Banta had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city`s major jogging routes.
No sooner had he settled back to snooze when... - Misinterpretation A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.
'Isn`t there some way to judge the size of a man`s equipment from the outside?' she asked earnestly.
'The only foolproof way, is by...