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Santa was not the brightest guy around. Every day, when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Santa decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route, but also take some self-defense classes so this wouldn`t happen again.
So Santa joined a karate class and soon was doing very well with it.
One day, on the way home from work, Santa confidently decided to take his old route home and, sure enough, there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued.
The next afternoon, Santa went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip.
His instructor was shocked and asked for an explanation.
"Well," explained Santa, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat those guys up who used to steal my money."
His instructor said, "What happened?"
Santa replied, "They jumped me before I could get my socks and shoes off!"
- Sun bath The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude.
'That`s okay with me, honey,' says her husband. 'I`ll go get some wood for the fire.'
About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds... - Spelling error One day on a train, there were two small boys and a middle aged lady. She sat reading her book but couldn`t help overhearing the two small boys having a deep heated discussion on the subject of spelling.'It would be spelt `W-W-W-W-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-B-B-B-B`,' the first boy argued.
'No its not! It`s spelt... - Cold water! A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, 'Grandfather, are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replies, 'Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and... - Recruiting! One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
'Welcome to Heaven,' said St. Peter.
'Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we`ve never once had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we`re not really sure what... -
Guard dog! Banta and his wife, Preeto, lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors` houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.
So Preeto went to the pet store and said, 'I need a good guard dog.'
The clerk replied, 'Sorry, we`re all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he...