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A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.
After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.
After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could.
After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car.
After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police. "I`ve been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!" he said.
"Can you give us a description of the turtles?" asked the police officer.
"No, I can`t. It all happened too fast!" cried the snail.
- Embarrasing ! A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
'Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?'
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, 'No... - Surpise gift!! Miss Jones is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Dollly, had brought a gift up to her desk.
'Guess what it is!' said Dolly.
Knowing that Dolly`s father owned a bookstore she guessed... - Amazing ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when Banta, a salesman, runs up to him and yells, 'Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!'
The golfer, annoyed, says, 'What is it?'
'It`s a special golf ball,' says Banta. 'You can never... - Self Defense Santa was not the brightest guy around. Every day, when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Santa decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route, but also take some self-defense... - Appointment Banta`s wife, Preeto, and kids all came down with the flu. Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and...