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Santa walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a taxi called for him.
Santa is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, Santa stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a taxi for him.
Santa looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, Santa bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a taxi or the police will be called immediately.
Surprised Santa looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
- Too fast !! A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.
After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.
After about six more weeks, the snail... -
Childbirth ! Santa`s son was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, Jeeto, 'How was I born?'
'Well dear...' said the embarrassed Jeeto, 'the stork brought you to us.'
'Oh,' said the boy, 'and how did you and... - Embarrasing ! A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
'Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?'
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, 'No... - Surpise gift!! Miss Jones is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Dollly, had brought a gift up to her desk.
'Guess what it is!' said Dolly.
Knowing that Dolly`s father owned a bookstore she guessed... - Amazing ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when Banta, a salesman, runs up to him and yells, 'Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!'
The golfer, annoyed, says, 'What is it?'
'It`s a special golf ball,' says Banta. 'You can never...