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    A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were all being led to the guillotine to be executed. They ask the priest if he wants to face upward or downward when he meets his fate.
    The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies.
    They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
    Next, the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest.
    They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. So they release the drunkard as well.
    The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer says, "Hey, I see what your problem is!"
  • Secret of long life Three old men were sitting on a bench in Florida when a reporter approached them. 'I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell us your secret to long life,' the reporter asked.
    The three old men agreed.
    The first old man was asked his secret to his long life.
    'I never drank alcohol, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for...
  • Highway Jerks One afternoon, this blonde drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop.
    Blonde rolls down the window and says, 'How can I help you?'
    'I am the red jerk of ...
  • Nurse`s revenge A businessman was confined to the for treatment of a minor malady.For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities...
  • Three envelopes Sometime after a man died, his widow, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
    'He thought of everything,' she told them. 'Just before he died, he called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. `Honey,` he told me, `I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please...
  • Thoughtful Santa Santa was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife, Jeeto had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.
    He asked God, 'Why did you make her so kind hearted?'
    The Lord responded, 'So you could love her, my son.'
    'Why did you make her so...
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