We have everything

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    A young teacher was trying to teach her six-year-old charges about sharing. In the midst of doing so, she said that no one had everything they wanted.
    At this point, a young arm was energetically pumping at the back of the class.
    She tried to ignore him, but little Johnny started saying, "Oh miss, oh miss!" with his arm pumping.
    "Yes, Johnny, what is it?" she asked, trying to remain calm.
    Little Johnny stood up and proclaimed to the class, "At our house, we have everything."
    "Don`t be silly," the teacher replied, "not even the richest man has everything."
    "We do," he answered, "My Daddy said so the other day."
    "Now, why would your father say such a thing?" she asked.
    "Well, my sister came home with her boyfriend, and told Dad that she was pregnant. That`s when my Dad said, "God, that`s all we needed!"
  • What a way to die A Blonde was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.
    'Damn, that was stupid, ' she thought as she fell. 'What a way to die.'
    As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
    While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, 'Do you suck?'
    'No!' she shrieked, aghast.
    So, he...
  • Nudist Colony A blonde joins a nudist colony, takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A 6-foot girl walks by him; the blonde gets a hard-on.
    Girl, 'Sir, did you call for me?
    Blonde, 'No, I just got here.'
    Girl, 'You must be new here; it`s a rule when I give you a hard-on, it implies...
  • Sad Santa A young man graduated from University with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to write a human interest story. Because he grew up on a farm, he went back to the country to do his research.
    He went to Santa`s house, introduced himself to and proceeded to explain to him why he was there.
    The young man asked, 'Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy?'
    Santa thought for a minute and said...
  • Cheating A man walked up to Santa`s farm house and knocks on the door. When Mrs Santa, Jeeto, opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door.
    Again, though, the man knocked, and asked the same question. Not amused, Jeeto screamed at him and...
  • Income taxes! One day, this man, Robert, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. Robert decided...
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