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    There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out.
    He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guy working alone on the fifth floor. He banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"
    The man replies, "You`re in an airplane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to perform a perfect blind landing on the airport runway 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
    The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.
    "Quite easy," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore, that must be Microsoft`s support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East."
  • Cross-examination Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
    A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
    Q. Officer, who provided this description?
    A. The officer who responded to the scene.
    Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called...
  • Technical fault A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were all being led to the guillotine to be executed. They ask the priest if he wants to face upward or downward when he meets his fate.
    The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies.
    They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly
  • Say Cheese Three dead bodies of Indian politicians turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The medical examiner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.
    'He was a BJP leader, 65 years of age, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the medical examiner.
    The Detective Inspector is taken to...
  • Secret of long life Three old men were sitting on a bench in Florida when a reporter approached them. 'I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell us your secret to long life,' the reporter asked.
    The three old men agreed.
    The first old man was asked his secret to his long life.
    'I never drank alcohol, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for...
  • Highway Jerks One afternoon, this blonde drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop.
    Blonde rolls down the window and says, 'How can I help you?'
    'I am the red jerk of ...
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