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    Once there was this city boy who wanted to go country, so he headed out to a farm to buy some animals.
    "I`ll take one of these," he said to the farmer.
    "What is it?"
    Well, to me it`s a cock, but to you it`s a rooster," said the farmer.
    "I`ll take one of these, too," said the city boy.
    "What is it?"
    "Well, to me it`s a pullet, but to you it`s a chicken," replied the farmer.
    "Okay," said the city boy. "And I`ll take one of those, too, if you`ll tell me what it is."
    "To me it`s an ass, but to you it`s a mule," explained the farmer, "and when that ass gets stubborn, it sits down and you have to scratch its belly to get it moving again."
    So the city boy set off down the road with all his new purchases. He was doing fine till a pretty girl drove by, at which point the ass sat down and refused to budge.
    Seeing he as having some trouble, the girl backed up and asked if there was anything she could do to help.
    "Actually, yes," said the city boy. "Will you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"
  • Worst sound There was 3 old men sitting by a pool talking about old times. One of the men asked the other two what was the worst sound they ever heard.
    The first old man said, 'Well I was in Africa once and had a herd of wild elephants come in my direction and I had no place to hide.'
    The second old man said, 'I was a pilot in the air force and was...
  • Night stay A pretty woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when the car breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door.
    When the farmer answers, she says to him, 'Oh, it`s Sunday night and my car broke down! Can I stay here for the night until...
  • Tiger Woods A couple were on their honeymoon, laying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, 'I have a confession to make, I`m not a virgin.'
    The husband replies, 'That`s no big thing.'
    The wife continues...
  • Ran out of gas! A little girl asks her mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
    Her mom says, 'No, because the dog is in heat.'
    'What`s that mean?' asks the child. 'Go ask your father. I think he`s in the garage.'
    The little girl goes to the garage and says...
  • Halloween Party A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and away he went.
    The wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided to go to the party. Since her husband didn`t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by...
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