•  

    A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them.
    He asked if they had a license and, when they didn`t, sent them off to get one.
    They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out that they had filled the names in backwards- his where hers belonged and vice versa.
    They rushed back to the clerk`s office, caught him again, and got another license.
    This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they catch the clerk ... After five reissued licenses, the judge is finally satisfied.
    Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards."
    Groom, "That`s funny- that`s just what the clerk called you."
  • Unaffordable Santa is going out of town and needs to board his horse for a couple of months.
    So he asks a local farmer about it and the farmer says, 'Sure, but I charge rupess 500 per week, and I keep the manure.'
    Santa told him that he can`t afford this, so the farmer refers him to...
  • Slow down A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
    The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
    'Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration.'
    Banta replies, 'Not until you tell me what...
  • Speeding Banta Banta is pulled over by the same motorcycle cop who caught him earlier last month for not stopping at lights and beat him up. So Banta decides to go for a revenge this time.
    Banta: Is there a problem Officer?
    Cop: Sir, you were speeding.
    Banta: Oh I see.
    Cop: Can I see your licence please?
    Banta: I`d give it to you but...
  • Imitating A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn`t understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.
    So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to...
  • Chocolate almonds A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishoners, Mrs. Smith. He rings the door bell and Mrs. Smith appears.
    'Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing.'
    The woman says, 'Oh just fine Father, come on in and we`ll have some tea.'
    While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT