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    Santa was one of the four persons who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. The Company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.
    Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview the next day, and that he would ask each one of them the same question. Whoever answered the question the best would be the one hired. All applicants agreed that this was fair.
    The next day the first applicant was called in.
    The president posed the question, "What is the fastest thing in the world?"
    He thought for a moment and replied, "That would have to be a thought."
    "Why do you say that?" asked the president.
    "Well, a thought takes no time at all...it is in your mind in an instant, then gone again."
    "Ahh, very good. Thank you," replied the president.
    Next the same question was posed to the second person.
    "What is the fastest thing in the world?"
    She paused and replied, "That would have to be a blink."
    "Why?" asked the president.
    "Because you don`t even think about a blink, it`s just a reflex. You do it in an instant."
    The president thanked him. He then called in the next applicant and asked the same question.
    After hesitating for a brief moment, he replied, "I would have to say electricity."
    "Why?"
    "Because a man can flip a switch, and immediately, three miles away a light will go on."
    "I see, very good," replied the president.
    Now it was the turn of our Santa. So he was called in and the President posed the question.
    "What is the fastest thing in the world?"
    "That`s easy..." he replied, "that would have to be diarrhoea!"
    Rather stunned, the president asked, "Why do you say that?"
    "Well, last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps..... and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS......"
  • Final exam The final examination for an English class was two hours long and exam booklets were provided. The teacher was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, Little Johnny came rushing in and asked the teacher for an exam booklet.
    'You`re not going to have...
  • Unaffordable Santa is going out of town and needs to board his horse for a couple of months.
    So he asks a local farmer about it and the farmer says, 'Sure, but I charge rupess 500 per week, and I keep the manure.'
    Santa told him that he can`t afford this, so the farmer refers him to...
  • Slow down A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
    The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
    'Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration.'
    Banta replies, 'Not until you tell me what...
  • Speeding Banta Banta is pulled over by the same motorcycle cop who caught him earlier last month for not stopping at lights and beat him up. So Banta decides to go for a revenge this time.
    Banta: Is there a problem Officer?
    Cop: Sir, you were speeding.
    Banta: Oh I see.
    Cop: Can I see your licence please?
    Banta: I`d give it to you but...
  • Imitating A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn`t understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.
    So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to...
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