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A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can`t take it with you."
After much thought and consideration, he finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.
His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to Heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer`s wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash.
"Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
- Drunken nun ! John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
'You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!'
Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes... -
Suicide !! Banta and his wife, Preeto were shocked when Preeto`s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much.
So Banta and Preeto reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and Banta decides he`d better... - Stunt plane Santa and and his wife, Jeeto, went to a fair. Santa had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much aride would cost.
'Rupees one thousand for 3 minutes' the pilot replied.
'That`s too much' said Santa.
The pilot thought for a second and then said... - Lawyer`s statue A man was browsing in an antique store when he came upon a statue of a rat. He asked the price and the owner said, 'The statue of the rat is $100; the legend behind the statue is another $100.'
The man agreed to buy only the statue itself, although the owner warned as he left, 'You`ll be back for... - Silver jubilee Banta and Preeto decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Mumbai. When they entered the hotel and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. Banta brushed her off.
Preeto objected, 'That young woman was nice, and you were so rude.'
'Preeto, she`s a prostitute.'
'I don`t believe you. That sweet...