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An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.
For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They, however, were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that`s how I want to go, too."
- Money bags A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, 'You can`t take it with you.'
After much thought and consideration, he finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take... - Nice trade It was a dark, stormy, night. Santa was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A Brigadier stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous Santa snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out 'Sir, Good Evening, Sir!'
The Brigadier, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said 'Good evening soldier, nice night, isn`t... - Drunken nun ! John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.
'You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!'
Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes... -
Suicide !! Banta and his wife, Preeto were shocked when Preeto`s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much.
So Banta and Preeto reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and Banta decides he`d better... - Stunt plane Santa and and his wife, Jeeto, went to a fair. Santa had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much aride would cost.
'Rupees one thousand for 3 minutes' the pilot replied.
'That`s too much' said Santa.
The pilot thought for a second and then said...