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    Millionaires !
    After days in the wilderness Santa and Banta stumble into a bar in the wild north in J&K and ask for two beers. Unfortunately they`ve got no money and the barman won`t give them credit. Just then a Kashmiri walks in with a terrorist`s head under his arm.
    The barman shakes his hand and says, "I f**king hate terrorosts. Last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, raped my wife and killed my children. If any man brings me the head of a terrorist, I will give him Rs 10,000".
    Santa and Banta look at each other and then go off to find a terrorist. Later that day, they see one, and Banta throws a stone which hits the terrorist on the head. The terrorist falls off his bike but lands 100ft down a ravine.
    Santa and Banta dash down into the ravine, where Santa starts sawing the terrorist`s head off.
    Suddenly Banta says, `Santa look at this.`
    Santa says, "Not now I`m busy."
    Banta says, "No, look at this."
    Santa says, "Shut up, I`m busy."
    Banta grabs hold of him and Santa looks up and sees hundreds of terrorists standing at the top of the ravine.
    `Wow!!` says Santa `We`re going to be millionaires."
  • Mine disaster There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster went into the local watering hole. The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other end of the bar.
    'Hey bartender' said the Engineer, 'I`ll have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the end there...
  • A Deadly Sneeze? A Deadly Sneeze? Adolf Hitler was conducting a General Staff meeting, when somebody sneezed.
    'Who was that!?' shouted Hitler, whirling around from a wall map of Europe. Nobody said anything.
    'I see,' he said, 'I will have 10 of you shot. And maybe then you will tell me who...
  • Old Preacher An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
    The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the...
  • Fastest bird ! One day Johnny was at church and ask the priest may I go to the bathroom, the priest said.
    'Yes you may.'
    Johnny left and headed for the woods. He found a big tree and crouched down to take a dump. Meanwhile, the priest went looking for him in the woods.
    Johnny heard the priest coming, wiped his butt with a leaf and pulled his pants up. Johnny then took his hat off and...
  • Money bags A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, 'You can`t take it with you.'
    After much thought and consideration, he finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take...
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