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    On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent`s house to visit her 95 year oldgrandmother and comfort her.
    When she ask how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
    Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
    "Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
    She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn`t come along, he`d still be alive today!"
  • Handicapped!! A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver`s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
    He told the woman that he was very...
  • Lack of allowance An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. While walking around the course the English man`s wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn`t wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily...
  • Betting A man was very depressed, and he explained to his friend, Banta, 'I just can`t get over having three balls.'`Three Balls?!?!?!? We can make a FORTUNE together!!!'
    'How?', Banta`s friend asked, as a smile returned to his face.
    'We`ll go to a bar and bet everyone that between you and the bartender, you have five...
  • Four balls ! Santa, a recent immigrant to the U.S. attended his first baseball game. After a base hit, he heard the fans roaring, 'Run...run!'
    The next batter connected heavily with the ball and our Santa stood up and roared with the crowd in his thick accent, 'R-r-r-un you lazy. R-r-run!'
    A third batter slammed a hit and again Santa, obviously pleased with his...
  • Lift !! One misty morning Banta was driving through the hills to Delhi. Suddenly out of the mist, a man stepped into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet five, has a huge red beard and has the appearance of a walking wardrobe.
    At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely, fair complexion, black...
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