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An old widow and widower get married. They are up there in age, and the romance, engagement and marriage was quick. They hoped they had enough strength to live through their wedding day and night.
After the marriage ceremony, they retire to a nearby hotel. Both are very nervous. Cautiously they begin to undress in front of each other. In the process the old woman removes her false teeth and puts them in a glass. Mary then removes her prosthetic leg and leans it against the wall. She looks up at her new groom and smiles nervously. He is intently watching... She continues.
She removes her bra which contains false inserts; she removes a glass eye and gingerly places it in a special box on the nightstand. Again she shyly smiles at her aged spouse, and he continues to stare in an interested manner. As she takes off her wig, she realizes that he is not making much progress in getting undressed. He`s stopped undressing and is just staring at her.
She asks him, "What are you waiting for?"
He quickly replies, "You know what I want. Take it off and throw it over here!"
- Placement !! Once upon a time, there were two guys Santa and Banta who wanted to pick up women on a beach.
Banta had no problem picking up gorgeous women; he was the most popular guy on the beach. But Santa had no success.
Santa: 'Banta! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?'
Banta: 'Well, I`ll tell you! But it`s a... - Right rhythm ! On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent`s house to visit her 95 year oldgrandmother and comfort her.
When she ask how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on... - Hats Away A policeman noticed an old lady standing on a street corner during a sudden windstorm.
She was bracing herself by holding a lightpost with one hand, and she was holding her hat snuggly against her head with her other hand.
Unfortunately, a strong gust blew her dress upward, and it continued to flap in the wind, exposing... - Handicapped!! A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver`s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very... - Lack of allowance An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. While walking around the course the English man`s wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn`t wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily...