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A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo dolls." It was Friday and almost quitting time but the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn`t keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem.
The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said, "Lady, I said to give each doll Two----Test----Tickles."
- Nugget of gold In a South American mining district, Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the News office and told that he had found a 12 pound nugget of gold as good as any to be found in South America. The paper, naturally, sent a reporter to get particulars. This is what happened:
Reporter-Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs.Brown-he does.
Reporter-Is he.. - Have a nice day? There once was a couple of newlyweds named John and Wendy. John told his wife Wendy that he wanted a tattoo! Wendy agreed and said that would be ok. John did not know what the tattoo should say or where he would put it.
So Wendy said, 'Well, if you REALLY loved me, you would get my name tattooed on your pecker.'
John couldn`t back out on that one, so he went to the Tattoo Parlour. The tattoo artist told him that he needed to have an... -
Gambling!! It`s 10:00 PM at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers, our Santa and Banta, are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table.
A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet Five lakh rupees on a single roll of the dice. Santa and Banta agree.
She says, 'I hope you don`t mind, but I feel much luckier when I`m... - Elastic band Concerned about her relationship, Jeeto approaches her doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m getting married this weekend and my fiancée thinks I`m a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?'
The doctor says, 'Medically, no, but here`s something you can try. On the wedding night, when you`re getting ready for bed, take an... - Fridays!! One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowingin despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil.
The Devil: Why so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I`m in hell.
The Devil: Hell`s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... Do you drink?
Guy: Sure, I love to...