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A woman and her lover are having sex. Someone knocks on the door.
It must be my husband! No problem, I`ll handle this.
She grabs the trash bin, opens the door and smiling sweetly says to her husband:
Darling, please, empty the trash.
While he is out, the other man escapes and walks back home.
He is thinking: "She is sooo smart, unlike my wife." He comes up to his door, knocks, his wife opens, smiles to him and says:
Darling, please, empty the trash basket.
He is carrying the basket and thinking: What a stupid bitch! The whole fucking day at home, and cannot find some time to empty the trash!
- Act of God There was a Rabbi whose wife was expecting a baby. The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Rabbi`s family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided... - Nugget of gold In a South American mining district, Mrs. Brown presented her husband with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to the News office and told that he had found a 12 pound nugget of gold as good as any to be found in South America. The paper, naturally, sent a reporter to get particulars. This is what happened:
Reporter-Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs.Brown-he does.
Reporter-Is he.. - Have a nice day? There once was a couple of newlyweds named John and Wendy. John told his wife Wendy that he wanted a tattoo! Wendy agreed and said that would be ok. John did not know what the tattoo should say or where he would put it.
So Wendy said, 'Well, if you REALLY loved me, you would get my name tattooed on your pecker.'
John couldn`t back out on that one, so he went to the Tattoo Parlour. The tattoo artist told him that he needed to have an... -
Gambling!! It`s 10:00 PM at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers, our Santa and Banta, are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table.
A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet Five lakh rupees on a single roll of the dice. Santa and Banta agree.
She says, 'I hope you don`t mind, but I feel much luckier when I`m... - Elastic band Concerned about her relationship, Jeeto approaches her doctor and says, 'Doc, I`m getting married this weekend and my fiancée thinks I`m a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?'
The doctor says, 'Medically, no, but here`s something you can try. On the wedding night, when you`re getting ready for bed, take an...