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An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies.
They settled in, started some light petting, and the American said, "Now in America we call this hamburger."
The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis hamburger in Svedin, too."
The movie continues and they go a little further.
The American says, "Now in America, we call this pastrami." The gal says, "Yah, yah vee call dis pastrami in Svedin too."
They decide to leave the movie and go park. They get in the back seat and really go at it.
Afterwards, the American says, "Now in America we call this a sandwich."
The gal says, "Yah, yah, vee call dis a sandvich in Svedin too. Only vee put a little more meat in it."
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The Pretzel hold Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.
Before the final match, the American wrestler`s trainer comes to him and says, 'Now don`t forget all the research we`ve done on this Russian. He`s never lost a match because of this `pretzel` hold he has. Whatever you do, don`t... - Shooter Banta was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun.
He yells to Banta, 'This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!'
The scared Banta pleads, 'Don`t shoot, please! I`ll do as you say!'
The robber yells, 'Shut up and empty the cash register!'
Banta says, 'Okay, okay! Just don`t shoot, I have a wife and kids! I`ll do whatever you say!'
The crook takes the money and... - Waxing issue Two ship captains, Santa and Banta were sitting at the bar. Santa turned to the Banta and said, 'You know what gets me, though, is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they`re fine for the first few weeks, but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard up. With all the whacking off going on, it`s a...
- Excited Santa Once there was a beautiful woman all alone on Christmas Eve. She stood in a see-through black negligee, holding a crystal cup, and drinking the best wine. Candles were lit on the tables and silk stockings hung over the mantle. Santa comes sliding down the chimney and starts to put things in the stockings.
She clears her throat, shimmies her shoulders, and says, 'Santa would you like to stay a while?'
Santa looks her over and says... - Knotted rope One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.
The new bride asks with a sly grin, 'What are they doing honey?'
The husband answers, 'They`re roping!'
She replies, 'Oh, I see!' while trying to hide her knowing expression.
After a few more hours of driving they...