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George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn`t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The barman says, "Yep, that`s them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We`re planning World War III".
And the guy says, "Really? What`s going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we`re going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one intelligent blonde.
The guy exclaimed, "Intelligent blonde!! Why kill a blonde?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
- Total mayhem... Banta comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pyajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food-boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess.
Dishes on the counter, dog-food spilled on the floor, a broken... - The biggest miser! One day, Santa, Banta and their friend walked into a bar together. They proceeded to each buy a drink.
Just as they where about to enjoy their drink, three flies landed in each of their drinks.
Their friend pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
Banta fished the offending fly... - The purrfect gift! A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he`s looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is retty, but he doesn`t seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then... -
Dead Friend Banta and his friend are out in the country shooting rabbits. Suddenly, Banta`s friend falls right in front of him, throws a quick spasm, then lies perfectly still. He doesn`t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. In fact, he looks pretty well dead!
Quick, as a flash, horrified Banta whips out his... - Talking parrot! Santa`s wife, Jeeto, goes into a pet store one day.
She says to the clerk, 'I need a pet to keep me company.'
'Well,' replies the clerk. 'How about this nice parrot? He`ll talk to you.'
'Hey, that`s great.' She likes the idea and buys the parrot and takes him home.
Next day, Jeeto comes back to the pet store. 'You know, that parrot...