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Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.
"It`s hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father`s the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No sir, our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don`t have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
- Swedish Sandwich An American soldier was on duty in Sweden. He took a Swedish gal out to the movies.
They settled in, started some light petting, and the American said, 'Now in America we call this hamburger.'
The gal says, 'Yah, yah vee call dis hamburger in Svedin, too.'
The movie continues and... -
A Penguin Banta is walking down the street, and he`s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has hundred rupees, so they kick him out. Banta goes to the next one. But, since he only has hundred rupees, he gets kicked out again.
So by this time, Banta is really super horny, so he goes to the next one and says, 'Look, I only have... -
The Pretzel hold Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.
Before the final match, the American wrestler`s trainer comes to him and says, 'Now don`t forget all the research we`ve done on this Russian. He`s never lost a match because of this `pretzel` hold he has. Whatever you do, don`t... - Shooter Banta was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun.
He yells to Banta, 'This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!'
The scared Banta pleads, 'Don`t shoot, please! I`ll do as you say!'
The robber yells, 'Shut up and empty the cash register!'
Banta says, 'Okay, okay! Just don`t shoot, I have a wife and kids! I`ll do whatever you say!'
The crook takes the money and... - Waxing issue Two ship captains, Santa and Banta were sitting at the bar. Santa turned to the Banta and said, 'You know what gets me, though, is these damn sailors! Oh sure, they`re fine for the first few weeks, but on those three-month trips at sea they start getting pretty hard up. With all the whacking off going on, it`s a...