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    A bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."
    Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.
    Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks of life remaining before your death?"
    A gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lifes."
    "Very good!" said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
    One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."
    "That is wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
    But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-law`s house for the four weeks."
    Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader asked, "Why your mother-in-law`s home?"
    Then the gentleman smiled sarcastically and said, "Because that would be the longest four weeks of my life!"
  • Bar Riddle Santa took a trip to Sydney, Australia. While in a bar, an Autralian on the next stool spoke to our Santa in a friendly manner.
    'Look,' he said, 'let`s have a little game. I`ll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I`ll buy you a drink. If you can`t then you buy me one. OK?'
    'Yeah, that sounds pretty good,' said Santa.
    The Australian said, 'My father and mother had one...
  • Road Stripers Santa, Banta, and one of their friend, Sunny, tried out for the same job as road stripers. The employer told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.
    At the end of the first day Sunny head had painted 4 miles, Banta had painted 3.5 miles, and Santa had painted...
  • World War III George W. Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn`t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?'
    The barman says, 'Yep, that`s them.'
    So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?'
    Bush says...
  • Smart idea... Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, 'Why`d you do that?'
    The trooper says...
  • Total mayhem... Banta comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pyajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food-boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess.
    Dishes on the counter, dog-food spilled on the floor, a broken...
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