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    Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a black eye.
    His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
    "But Dad, it wasn`t my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That`s when she hit me!"
    "Johnny," the father said. "You don`t do those kind of things to women."
    Sure enough, the very next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
    Johnny`s father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!"
    "But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn`t my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Bob, who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn`t like this, so I pushed it back in!"
  • Defective Parrot Santa decides that maybe he`d like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn`t have any feet or legs.
    Santa says out loud, 'Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'
    'I was born this way,' says the parrot, 'I`m a defective parrot.'
    'Ha, ha,' Santa laughs, 'it sounded like this parrot...
  • Hitman!! One morning, Banta approached the first tee, only to find another guy approaching from the other side. They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together.
    After teeing off, they sat off down the fairway, continuing their chat.'What do you do?' the guy asked.
    'I`m a salesman...
  • Acute Angina! Banta gets home from work one day and finds his wife, Preeto has been crying
    'What`s wrong?' he asks.
    'Promise you won`t get mad, but I went to see the new doctor today and he told me I`ve got a pretty pussy.'
    'WHAT?' Banta shouts.
    With that Banta grabs a hockey stick from the cupboard and...
  • Pleasing everybody Santa, his son and their donkey were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride.
    As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and his father, Santa to walk.
    Santa and boy decided that may be the critics were right so...
  • Sign language! A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf.
    Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it.
    The pharmacist unzips...
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