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A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, "Andrew doesn`t appreciate what I do for him!"
"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."
"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen chicken and he yelled at me about the price."
"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those chickens are only a few dollars."
"No, mother it wasn`t the price of the chicken, it was the airplane ticket."
"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"
"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the back and it said, `PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE,` so I flew to Alaska."
- Intruder Santa and his wife, Jeeto had just gone to bed for the night. Just as Santa was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, 'I hear someone breaking in.'
At least 2 nights a week for 20 years Santa had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. When Santa entered... - Bank robbery After two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge.
The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, 'Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?'
'Yes we have, your honor,' the foreman responded.
'Would you please... - Dying of AIDS!! An Irishman named Darren went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Darren in the eye, and said, 'I`ve some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can`t be cured. I`d give you two weeks to a month to live.'
Darren was shocked and saddened by the news but was of solid character. He managed to compose himself and... -
Air India Santa was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, Santa declared loudly, 'I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don`t... - Basic training Santa was in Telecom deptt. before joining the army. As part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at the target, and missed the target with every shot! His Drill Instructor was very upset with him.
'What`s the matter with you?' asked the Drill Instructor. 'Why can`t you...