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    Father, "When you go back to your Mom tonight, give her this envelope and tell her that since you are now 18, this is the last check she`ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face."
    Daughter, "OK"
    Later that night
    Daughter, "Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I`m now 18, this is the last child support payment he`ll ever have to make to you. Now I`m supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face."
    Mother, "Next time you visit your father, tell him that after 18 years I have decided to inform him that he`s not your father. Then, stand back and watch the expression on his face."
  • Liars A minister would up the services one morning by saying, 'Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark.'
    On the following Sunday...
  • Intruder Santa and his wife, Jeeto had just gone to bed for the night. Just as Santa was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, 'I hear someone breaking in.'
    At least 2 nights a week for 20 years Santa had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. When Santa entered...
  • Bank robbery After two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge.
    The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, 'Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?'
    'Yes we have, your honor,' the foreman responded.
    'Would you please...
  • Dying of AIDS!! An Irishman named Darren went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Darren in the eye, and said, 'I`ve some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can`t be cured. I`d give you two weeks to a month to live.'
    Darren was shocked and saddened by the news but was of solid character. He managed to compose himself and...
  • Air India Air India Santa was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
    When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, Santa declared loudly, 'I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don`t...
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