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    Just after Santa got married, he was invited out for a night with the friends.
    So Santa told his wife, Jeeto that he would be home by midnight.
    Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy, so at around 2.30 AM Santa was drunk as a skunk, and headed for home.
    After about half an hour just as Santa got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly he realized she`d probably wake up, so he cuckooed another 9 times. Santa was really proud of himself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed.
    Next morning his wife, Jeeto asked him what time he got in and he told her 12 o`clock.
    She didn`t seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock.
    When Santa asked her why, Jeeto said, "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said `oh crap,` cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it`s throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then farted."
  • Child support! Father, 'When you go back to your Mom tonight, give her this envelope and tell her that since you are now 18, this is the last check she`ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face.'
    Daughter, 'OK'
    Later that night
    Daughter, 'Mom, Dad asked me...
  • Frozen state! A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
    She sobs, 'Andrew doesn`t appreciate what I do for him!'
    'Now, now,' her mother comforted, 'I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.'
    'No, mother,' the young woman laments. 'I bought a frozen chicken and...
  • Liars A minister would up the services one morning by saying, 'Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark.'
    On the following Sunday...
  • Intruder Santa and his wife, Jeeto had just gone to bed for the night. Just as Santa was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, 'I hear someone breaking in.'
    At least 2 nights a week for 20 years Santa had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. When Santa entered...
  • Bank robbery After two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge.
    The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, 'Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?'
    'Yes we have, your honor,' the foreman responded.
    'Would you please...
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