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A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "Let`s make a demonstration out of this. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Russell Crowe for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Justin Timberlake for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you`ve learned."
The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means.
He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Russell Crowe?"
His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don`t tell your father, but, yes, I would."
Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I`ve figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we`re living with a couple of whores."
- AIDS virus!! There was a Russian, an Italian and Banta on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the Russian said... - Talking parrot A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom`s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making.
Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn`t quit it.
The next morning... - Private lessons Banta and his wife, Preeto love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.
Banta has his lesson first.
After the pro sees his swing, he says, 'No, no, no, you`re gripping the club way too hard!'
'Well, what should I do?' asks Banta.
'Hold the club gently,' the pro replied, 'just like you`d hold your wife`s... -
African Roulette An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. As he`s leaving, the Russian leader tells him that in Russia they have a farewell custom called `Russian Roulette`, to demonstrate one`s courage.
The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger... - Peeking Pastor A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the restroom.
The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor.
As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?'
The bartender replied, 'I really...