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A girl and her boyfriend got to the local pub. When it`s the girls turn to buy a round, she tells him that she has heard of a wonderful new drink he simply must try.
She returns with the usual half of lager for herself. For him, she has two glasses. One contains a measure of baileys, the other lime juice.
She hands him the glasses and says, "Ok, what you have to do is, you gotta swig the baileys, hold it in your mouth for a few seconds, and then drink the lime juice."
He looks a bit dubious, but shes very enthusiastic so he decides to give it a go. First the baileys; lovely smooth, creamy, warm feeling in the mouth.
Then he takes the lime juice.
1 second: The cream in the baileys curdles
3 seconds: Boyfriends face turns the color of the lime juice
5 seconds: Boyfriend calms his stomach & swallows the gunge
He turns to his girlfriend and asks what the drink is called to which she whispers in his ear, "Blowjob Revenge!"
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His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, 'Let`s make a demonstration out of this. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with... - Viagra`s side effects A woman asks her husband if he`d like some breakfast.'Chicken and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?'
'Nah,' he says. 'It`s this Viagra - it`s really taken the edge off my appetite.'
At lunch time she asks, 'How about a bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins, or maybe... - AIDS virus!! There was a Russian, an Italian and Banta on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
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Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn`t quit it.
The next morning... - Private lessons Banta and his wife, Preeto love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.
Banta has his lesson first.
After the pro sees his swing, he says, 'No, no, no, you`re gripping the club way too hard!'
'Well, what should I do?' asks Banta.
'Hold the club gently,' the pro replied, 'just like you`d hold your wife`s...