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After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver`s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn`t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded . . .
"I think I`ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
- Religious Joe There was a man called Joe, who lived near a river.
Joe was a very religious man.
One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and he was forced to climb onto his porch roof.
While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and... - The bribe! An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.
'If you get in the car,' the driver says, 'I`ll give you five hundred rupees and a piece of candy.'
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man... -
Another chance!! A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb. For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium. A guy who`s hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center. They are standing at the microphone as he asks her:
'What`s two... - The Earring! A man is at work one day when he notices that his coworker is wearing an earring. This man knows his coworker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'
The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn`t know you were into earrings.'
'Don`t make such a big deal, it`s... - The inheritance!! Santa and Banta meet in the street. Santa looked dejected and almost on the verge of tears.
Banta said, 'Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?'
Santa said, 'Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me...