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Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Banta screamed, "Look at the window. There`s an old ghost`s face here!"
Santa sped up, but the old man`s face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
Banta handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to Santa, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.
Santa said, "I don`t know what happened, but don`t worry; the speedometer says we`re doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.
"There he is again," Banta yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.
Banta threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"
They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
"Oh my God! He`s back!"
Banta rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"
The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
- Wrong side of bed!!! A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast.
On his way there two nuns look at him and he says, 'Good morning sisters' and they reply in a sing song manner, 'You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.'
This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite but he just goes on.
He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and he says... - Religious Joe There was a man called Joe, who lived near a river.
Joe was a very religious man.
One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and he was forced to climb onto his porch roof.
While sitting there, a man in a boat comes along and... - The bribe! An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.
'If you get in the car,' the driver says, 'I`ll give you five hundred rupees and a piece of candy.'
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man... -
Another chance!! A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb. For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium. A guy who`s hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center. They are standing at the microphone as he asks her:
'What`s two... - The Earring! A man is at work one day when he notices that his coworker is wearing an earring. This man knows his coworker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'
The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn`t know you were into earrings.'
'Don`t make such a big deal, it`s...