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    An accountant dies and goes to heaven.
    He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.
    After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, "I`m sorry I wasn`t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to meeting such a remarkable man as yourself."
    The accountant is perplexed. "I`ve tried to lead a good life, but I am overwhelmed by your welcome," he tells St. Peter.
    "It`s the least we can do for someone as special as you are. Imagine, living to the age of 160 and still looking so young," says St. Peter.
    The man looks even more dumbfounded and replies, "160? I don`t know what you mean. I`m only 40."
    St. Peter replies, "But that can`t be right - we`ve seen your time sheets!"
  • Speeding ticket A guy is speeding down a highway and he gets pulled over. The cop says, 'You were speeding.'
    The guy says, 'No I wasn`t, I was just going slow.'
    The guy`s wife in the Passenger seat says, 'No officer, He was speeding the whole time.'
    The guy glares at his wife and says...
  • Drive Slow!! Santa lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate.
    The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the Inspector`s and said, 'You`ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my...
  • Extremely efficient! Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried.
    Turning to the other two engineers, he said, `At Wipro, we are trained to...
  • Banta`s flight On reaching his plane seat Banta is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.
    He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, 'And get me a whisky you cow!'
    The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets...
  • Be Silent!! Santa gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. He has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.
    As soon as he boarded the plane, a Boeing737, he started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting...
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